I hate the way
You make
Drowning look like
Breathing easily
Freely suffocation yourself
Not even realizing
That your sinking
Deeper and deeper down
You're convincing me
Don't take the high road
Because the hill there will kill you
You guarantee me
That I cant afford that
So don't even try
Then
Invite me to come fly
To feel what its like
To blur my sight
To the extent of clarity
Amidst the gauzy reality
We've been brainwashed to believe
Is sanity
This feels like
Insanity
And these feelings
I don't want to feel anymore
I just want to know
Tell me whats real
Because I've tasted air
And it freed me
It was free to me
And in that moment
I had totally clarity
And in that moment
It became everything for me
But for some reason
Its not sticking
Its not addicting
But you
Damn you had me
The second you walked in the room
And I cant stop
Thinking about you
And
Thanking about how
I need a cigarette
Because this air
Is going stale
And its not so clear
Anymore
And I'm not so clear
Anymore
And I want you here
All the more
To help me feel real
Once more
Because I can't feel
Whats real
Anymore
And these feelings
I don't want to feel
Anymore
I just want to know
Tell me whats real
Because I've had it
With this
Bullshit hypocrisy
Where I pretend like
I know what I'm talking about
Where I pretend like
I see through the
Gauzy reality
We've convinced ourselves
Is sanity
Because its easier than
Facing the insanity
We are faced with
Every day
Daily
Rolling every thought
Of imperfection in our lives
In thin white sheets of paper
Blowing
In
In
In
In
Holding
Feeling
Releasing
Freeing ourselves to fly
At least for a moment
Or maybe just to fall but
At least for a moment
We touched the stars
And
I hate the way
You make this look fulfilling
I hate the way
You make this look satisfying
And
I hate the way
That I keep coming back for more
Knowing its not helping
But I cant handle
All these thoughts
And I cant handle
All these feelings
Tell me whats real
Because I've tasted air
And it freed me
But its not free to me
And the more I think about it
The more I'm realizing
That the cost of breathing
Is my whole life
And I'm not sure
I'm willing to trade everything
Im not sure
I'm able to give everything
For a freedom
I'm not even sure
Is sticking around
Because it hasn't been addicting
Tell me whats real
Because I'm digging
Deeper and deeper down
Tell me whats real
Because I'm sinking
Deeper and deeper down
And I cant breath easily anymore
I'm freely suffocating myself
In a confinement of uncertainty
Where I'm certainly going to drown
If no one can tell me
Somebody
Tell me whats real
Because I cant keep guessing
And then confessing
For a blessing
Always testing and
Investing myself
In momentary highs
Because this isn't living
This is simply surviving
An unsatisfying life
Always searching
But never finding
Tell me whats real
Because I need to feel
Alive again
Tell me whats real
Because now its not enough
To just feel
I need to know
Tell me
Because I need to know
Whats real
The end.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Cutie Pie
I am
The most delectable dish
On the dessert menu
And oh, how you
Like to
Treat me that way
Take me
When you want me
Leave me
When your full
Having no need for
Subsequent satisfaction
After the balanced meal
You've just consumed
Has been spoon-fed to you
By whomever you choose
Knowing that
Even after it all
I will still be waiting
Simply to add a sweet sense
Of completion to your day
That never seems
To fully satisfy
Because you keep coming back
For more
And I know
I will never be
The main course
Except occasionally when
Someone else has fallen through
For you and you need an
Emergency
Sugar
Recovery
In which I'll come
To the rescue
And I'm not claiming to be
The most important portion
But I do wish
You could see
That I might be
Something more than simply
A cutie pie
On an optional menu
Waiting for you
To choose me
The end.
The most delectable dish
On the dessert menu
And oh, how you
Like to
Treat me that way
Take me
When you want me
Leave me
When your full
Having no need for
Subsequent satisfaction
After the balanced meal
You've just consumed
Has been spoon-fed to you
By whomever you choose
Knowing that
Even after it all
I will still be waiting
Simply to add a sweet sense
Of completion to your day
That never seems
To fully satisfy
Because you keep coming back
For more
And I know
I will never be
The main course
Except occasionally when
Someone else has fallen through
For you and you need an
Emergency
Sugar
Recovery
In which I'll come
To the rescue
And I'm not claiming to be
The most important portion
But I do wish
You could see
That I might be
Something more than simply
A cutie pie
On an optional menu
Waiting for you
To choose me
The end.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Davi
You were a breath of fresh air
Bursting through
The stagnant oxygen
My lungs were used to breathing in
As our eyes met
For the first time
In a long time
And my eyes
Filled with light
For the second time
In a long time
As your eyes
Kissed my soul
For the first time
Ever
And it made me feel so alive
Alive as in
Crazy
Stupid
Heart racing
Brain-blanking
Passion
Coursing through my veins
Feeling insane
This feeling of life
And you hugged me
Tightly
Squeezing every attempt
To pretend
From my lungs and
Breathing life
Right back into me
Right where it used to be
Unsteady
Unpredictable yet
Unchanging
Faithfully erasing
My every attempt at creating
A sense of contentment
Amidst the mediocrity
That I called life
Then you called bullshit
Exposing my hypocrisy
And as your lips spoke
Words that meant nothing
Began to mean something
And it wasn't to long
Before
Those somethings
Became everything
And everything
Was an addicting
Exchange of desire
And honestly
The best synonym
For desire is fire
Because
Of its all-consuming
Powerfully engulfing
Intoxicating nature
Along with the
All to real risk
Of getting burned
But
It comes with the promise
That you'll never
Feel the cold
So I inhaled the smoke
Billowing around me
Tasting ashes laced with
Wishful thinking
Knowing I had only dreamt
To feel the way I felt
When our fingertips touched
Dancing
Twisting around each other
Lightly
As if feeling for a foundation
To fall in love from
But as I exhaled the smoke
From with in me
I tasted decay laced with
Guilty feelings
Reminding me
I cant talk your hand
Because someone else
Is holding mine
And I cant give you my love
Because someone else
Has a claim on mine
And that I've lived
Every day
Holding my breath
Waiting
Simply for a moment
To take it away
And that you took it
And I cant take it back
Even if I really wanted to
And I really wanted you
And still want you
Want you to hear
What I've written here
But they're just words
Words to some
Meaning absolutely nothing
Words to others
Holding an intriguing something and
Words to me
That mean everything
They are just words
Words that hold the power
To leave me with
Nothing.
The end
Bursting through
The stagnant oxygen
My lungs were used to breathing in
As our eyes met
For the first time
In a long time
And my eyes
Filled with light
For the second time
In a long time
As your eyes
Kissed my soul
For the first time
Ever
And it made me feel so alive
Alive as in
Crazy
Stupid
Heart racing
Brain-blanking
Passion
Coursing through my veins
Feeling insane
This feeling of life
And you hugged me
Tightly
Squeezing every attempt
To pretend
From my lungs and
Breathing life
Right back into me
Right where it used to be
Unsteady
Unpredictable yet
Unchanging
Faithfully erasing
My every attempt at creating
A sense of contentment
Amidst the mediocrity
That I called life
Then you called bullshit
Exposing my hypocrisy
And as your lips spoke
Words that meant nothing
Began to mean something
And it wasn't to long
Before
Those somethings
Became everything
And everything
Was an addicting
Exchange of desire
And honestly
The best synonym
For desire is fire
Because
Of its all-consuming
Powerfully engulfing
Intoxicating nature
Along with the
All to real risk
Of getting burned
But
It comes with the promise
That you'll never
Feel the cold
So I inhaled the smoke
Billowing around me
Tasting ashes laced with
Wishful thinking
Knowing I had only dreamt
To feel the way I felt
When our fingertips touched
Dancing
Twisting around each other
Lightly
As if feeling for a foundation
To fall in love from
But as I exhaled the smoke
From with in me
I tasted decay laced with
Guilty feelings
Reminding me
I cant talk your hand
Because someone else
Is holding mine
And I cant give you my love
Because someone else
Has a claim on mine
And that I've lived
Every day
Holding my breath
Waiting
Simply for a moment
To take it away
And that you took it
And I cant take it back
Even if I really wanted to
And I really wanted you
And still want you
Want you to hear
What I've written here
But they're just words
Words to some
Meaning absolutely nothing
Words to others
Holding an intriguing something and
Words to me
That mean everything
They are just words
Words that hold the power
To leave me with
Nothing.
The end
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Untitled
He walked in
With his guitar in one hand
A cigarette in the other
A flask in his pocket
And a pair of aviators
Resting on his nose
Even though it was
8:30pm and the sun
Had begun to set
On the dusty little bon fire
That crackled and cackled
As it devoured the wood
We lazily poked at
Ever so often
He was wearing his
Bad ass
Kickback
Relax attitude
That reeked of whiskey
And glowed
With the glazey facade of
"I don't give a shit"
He sat down
Put his feet up
Pulled out his flask
And like so many before
Mistook alcohol
For the escape door
As he fought to forget
about his feelings for her
As memories came flooding in again
Waves of wishing
For what would have
Or could have been
Threaten to leak from his eyes
So he starts making obscene jokes
And swearing
Trying to disguise
From the transparency
That was growing
With every habitual tilt
Of the flask
Down his throat
Then
Up in flames
In his soul
To burn his scars and emotions
Because feeling brings pain
And
Pain brings erosion
Leaving shattered pieces
To burn
Then billow up and away
As he roles his head back
A completion of a breath
Blowing the smoke
From his lungs
Waiting for the freedom
To come
For a moment
To simply fly
But as the soot settles
All goes black
Leaving tar stained lungs
From tobacco
And
Nicotine
A momentary hear beat
Scars left bleeding
And emotions smoldering
The graceless equality
Where the fire destroys the wood
Then the wood destroys the fire
As every negative feeling
Begins erupting from his soul
Burping and gagging
Stumbling to his knees
With one hand on a tree
And every attempt at escaping
Came back out
The way it came in
Violently declaring
The impossibility of forgetting
The reality
That was gripping
His stomach and his throat
Allowing the drunken slur
Of brutal honesty
To wash from his eyes
Down his face
And into the earth
Where pebbles in the grass
Became tombstones
"Rest in Peace"
And
"Let it be"
Etched into their existence
As he tips forward
Roles onto his side
And closes his eyes
Falling asleep
Holding half a victory
In that even though
He'll never be able to forget about her
He can really remember
Anything that just happened either.
The end
With his guitar in one hand
A cigarette in the other
A flask in his pocket
And a pair of aviators
Resting on his nose
Even though it was
8:30pm and the sun
Had begun to set
On the dusty little bon fire
That crackled and cackled
As it devoured the wood
We lazily poked at
Ever so often
He was wearing his
Bad ass
Kickback
Relax attitude
That reeked of whiskey
And glowed
With the glazey facade of
"I don't give a shit"
He sat down
Put his feet up
Pulled out his flask
And like so many before
Mistook alcohol
For the escape door
As he fought to forget
about his feelings for her
As memories came flooding in again
Waves of wishing
For what would have
Or could have been
Threaten to leak from his eyes
So he starts making obscene jokes
And swearing
Trying to disguise
From the transparency
That was growing
With every habitual tilt
Of the flask
Down his throat
Then
Up in flames
In his soul
To burn his scars and emotions
Because feeling brings pain
And
Pain brings erosion
Leaving shattered pieces
To burn
Then billow up and away
As he roles his head back
A completion of a breath
Blowing the smoke
From his lungs
Waiting for the freedom
To come
For a moment
To simply fly
But as the soot settles
All goes black
Leaving tar stained lungs
From tobacco
And
Nicotine
A momentary hear beat
Scars left bleeding
And emotions smoldering
The graceless equality
Where the fire destroys the wood
Then the wood destroys the fire
As every negative feeling
Begins erupting from his soul
Burping and gagging
Stumbling to his knees
With one hand on a tree
And every attempt at escaping
Came back out
The way it came in
Violently declaring
The impossibility of forgetting
The reality
That was gripping
His stomach and his throat
Allowing the drunken slur
Of brutal honesty
To wash from his eyes
Down his face
And into the earth
Where pebbles in the grass
Became tombstones
"Rest in Peace"
And
"Let it be"
Etched into their existence
As he tips forward
Roles onto his side
And closes his eyes
Falling asleep
Holding half a victory
In that even though
He'll never be able to forget about her
He can really remember
Anything that just happened either.
The end
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Because There was no Wifi
Remember the magic
That once dusted our lives
The gift of a pure mind
Innocence with its
Whole hearted
Wide eyed
Chubby cheeks
Discovering mind
Of a clean earth
Untainted by the stains
Of the world
Which beat and batter
Upon the soul
Breaking what was once whole
Remember
Remember
When butterflies took flight
At the mere sight
Of an airplane
And giggling was
The potion
That made the earth go around
When raindrops
Were kisses falling
From the heavens
And every song we sang
Was light
Dancing through the sound
Remember
When the world
Was wrapped around
Our fatty little fingers
And there was no fright
Or scare
That hiding under the covers
Couldn't cure
And
when blankets transformed
Into castles
Rising from the floor
In billows of
Prints and patterns
Princes and princesses
Of perfection
Remember
When beauty was
Bumps and bruises
Healed by the
Unimaginable power
Of the bandaid
Branding us with experience
Remember
When our smiles
Were a glimpse of the gods
And our eyes
Shone with the gold of heaven
Remember
Remember
When our spirits
Were as vast as the oceans
An unsteady mirror
Recreating reflections of
Every speck of light
That flickered across
Our glass panes
Filtering light and dark
Into our souls
As an acid rain
No longer laced with kisses
Drips down our beings
Turning the magic that
Once dusted our lives
Into a muddy sea
With a lonely memory that
Once Upon a Time
We believed in a
Happily Ever After
The end
That once dusted our lives
The gift of a pure mind
Innocence with its
Whole hearted
Wide eyed
Chubby cheeks
Discovering mind
Of a clean earth
Untainted by the stains
Of the world
Which beat and batter
Upon the soul
Breaking what was once whole
Remember
Remember
When butterflies took flight
At the mere sight
Of an airplane
And giggling was
The potion
That made the earth go around
When raindrops
Were kisses falling
From the heavens
And every song we sang
Was light
Dancing through the sound
Remember
When the world
Was wrapped around
Our fatty little fingers
And there was no fright
Or scare
That hiding under the covers
Couldn't cure
And
when blankets transformed
Into castles
Rising from the floor
In billows of
Prints and patterns
Princes and princesses
Of perfection
Remember
When beauty was
Bumps and bruises
Healed by the
Unimaginable power
Of the bandaid
Branding us with experience
Remember
When our smiles
Were a glimpse of the gods
And our eyes
Shone with the gold of heaven
Remember
Remember
When our spirits
Were as vast as the oceans
An unsteady mirror
Recreating reflections of
Every speck of light
That flickered across
Our glass panes
Filtering light and dark
Into our souls
As an acid rain
No longer laced with kisses
Drips down our beings
Turning the magic that
Once dusted our lives
Into a muddy sea
With a lonely memory that
Once Upon a Time
We believed in a
Happily Ever After
The end
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